Taking just a five-second break the next time you are in an argument could help defuse the situation, according to new research. Researchers at Scotland’s University of St. Andrews were surprised to find that taking 5, 10, or 15 second breaks had an equal effect on decreasing negative emotions and aggressive behavior between couples.
The explanation is that when things get heated, a little pause allows you to behave less impulsively. Taking a step back may help us see the bigger picture and remind us that we do love the other person, even if we don’t like them much at that moment.
Experts agree that you can accomplish more than you think in that brief five seconds. Our brains work fast and we just need to give them a tiny opportunity to do their magic.
Distraction works too. I saw recently a couple committed to arguing only if they each wore birthday hats from their son’s recent birthday party. Hard to stay upset when you’re laughing!
And if you truly need a full, grown-up time out, just make sure you agree about when you will circle back around to the conversation. It’s worth doing whatever it takes to work it out.
