“I didn’t want to bother you, pastor.”
That is a statement I have heard more times than I wish to admit over my many decades of doing ministry. This statement is usually used as the excuse by someone in my church going through a challenging situation that I hear about after the fact. I ask the person why they did not reach out to me for support and that is the response. And I am disappointed.
I wish people knew how much I want to be there for them when times are tough. I usually can’t fix most problems but I can be a friend who is present, will listen, and pray with them. There are times in my life that I wish I would have had someone with me, helping me carry the burden on my shoulders.
But if I’m honest, I don’t reach out as much as I should. Yes. I can be hypocritical. And I know why I don’t do it. I want to think that I am strong enough to handle my own problems, without being a burden to others. I want people to think I have it all together.
But I don’t a lot of the times and I could use a helping, supportive hand and still I don’t reach out.
Jesus told a story in Luke 11 that speaks into this issue:
“Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.” Luke 11:5-8 NLT
God is a god who expects to be bothered. He wants us to ask and be annoying about it. And by extension, we do this for each other as well. Of course, there are always boundaries to be respected but we have to be okay seeking out the love and support of those around us, especially in times of need.
So bother your pastor. Bother your family. Bother your teacher. Bother your coworkers. And of course, bother your God. Because that is how you are going to get what you need.
